He knows who's been naughty and nice

In 2007, Sports Santa was feeling blue at his favorite time of year because of what failed referendums had the potential to do in the Brainerd and Crosby-Ironton school districts.

Brainerd High School proposed to cut 18 of its 29 Minnesota State High School League activities. That would have reduced the Warriors' athletic program to what it was before the advent of girls' athletics and Title IX (equal opportunities for males and females).

C-I was proposing to eliminate all Ranger athletics.

Fortunately, neither scenario came to pass. Groups in both communities rose to the fore and rescued the programs - at least for a year.

SS is feeling even more grim this year, watching the unemployment rate skyrocket. Friends and co-workers have lost jobs. It's difficult to be in a festive mood after layoffs and what's projected to happen in 2009.

What SS can't believe is despite the gloomy economic conditions pro athletes continue to get in scrapes with the law and their employers continue to throw dollars at them like they are actually important.

Bad boys, bad boys

• Plaxico Burress posted $100,000 bail on illegal weapons possession charges after shooting himself at a New York nightclub. Everybody carries a gun in the waistband of their sweatsuit, right? Fortunately, the Giants suspended him.

• Sean Avery is suspended by the Dallas Stars after making crude comments about his former girlfriends. This knucklehead actually asked if TV cameras were present and rolling before making his unflattering comments. Knowing the NHL, he will resurface somewhere else.

• New York Jets defensive end Shaun Ellis was charged with possession of marijuana, speeding and driving without insurance. A guy with a base salary of $3 million has no car insurance? Moron.

• A cab driver alleges that Mississippi men's basketball coach Andy Kennedy punched him while calling him "bin Laden" and other racial slurs. SS declines to comment on this case.

There's a recession?

• The San Francisco Giants sign shortstop Edgar Renteria for $9.25 million a year for two years.

• The New York Yankees sign free agent first baseman Mark Teixeira for $22.5 million a year for eight years and pitcher C.C. Sabathia for $23 million a year for seven years.

• The New York Mets sign reliever Franciso Rodriguez for $12.3 million a year for three years.

• The Dodgers sign shortstop Rafael Furcal for $11 million annually for three years.

• The Detroit Tigers sign shortstop Adam Everett to a $1 million contract. How could any team pay Everett $1 million after hitting .213 with 20 RBIs for the Twins.

Wishes for 2009:

• Timberwolves fire Kevin McHale as coach, replace him with Flip Saunders, promote Fred Hoiberg to general manager.

• Timberwolves trade Kevin Love for O.J. Mayo and Randy Foye for Brandon Roy. Target Center is where Mayo and Roy belong.

• The Gophers extend Tubby Smith's contract for 10 years. In two short seasons Minnesota has become instantly competitive under Tubby. His name and reputation gave the Gophers a shot to recruit virtually any prep or junior college star.

• The Twins trade temperamental Delmon Young back to Tampa Bay for Matt Garza and Jason Bartlett. Garza and Bartlett belong in Twins uniforms at Target Field in 2010.

• Barack Obama gets the economy, and the country, rolling.

To all of SS' faithful readers, find a way to have a Merry Christmas.

Mike Bialka is Sports Santa and sports editor. He may be reached at mike.bialka@brainerddispatch.com or at 855-5861.