I just need to go home

She's coming home, she's coming home! After being way too far away from home for 4 1/2 months, my daughter is finally coming home! Even at age 21 she's excited to "get back home." There's just something about the comfort of your own home.

Over Memorial Day Weekend, my husband and I were both excited that we really had no plans, we were just going to be at home. Often we hear people our age say, "I just need to get home. I can't wait to just be at home for awhile."

When my parents come for a visit, we often laugh with them when early in the visit they are planning for the time when they will leave and go back home. I guess we can all just be ourselves, let down the guard, relax and enjoy when we're in the comfort of our own home. At all ages it just seems to be a place that calms our soul.

In my last column, I talked about the importance of planning with your parents for their future "at home." It's the best gift you can give them - knowing the options for their future as they age. I referred to a book "Stages of Senior Care" written by Paul and Lori Hogan that speaks of just that, the wonderful continuum of care for seniors that we are blessed to have in the United States (www.stagesof seniorcare.com). That planning should begin with a conversation (check out www.4070talk.com), considering improvements or changes to their home to make things easier and safer for them as they age, considering social and recreational activities such as senior centers and adult day centers. While everyone probably agrees that it is best for Mom and Dad to continue living in their home as long as they are healthy and can manage it, at some point they will probably need some help.

One of the challenges families and seniors themselves have is to recognize when that time comes. The 10 Signs of Trouble can be found in this Senior Class edition or on the www.caregiverstress.com website.

If these signs are present, someone needs to come in regularly to help out. Often, that person is a family member. Usually, but not always, it's a daughter. She comes over as frequently as possible to help with cooking, cleaning and, most important, conversation and companionship.

But that doesn't always work out, or isn't always possible. In that case, you may want to bring in a professional - a non-medical caregiver who comes to your parents' home on a regular schedule and supplies the help they need. This person can help "fill the gaps" when the family just can't be there. When this caregiver is well matched with your parents, it's wonderful to witness the energy that they can bring to not only your parents, but literally the whole family. Your input as a family caregiver is invaluable in making sure that professional caregiver is well matched.

There are agencies that focus on providing non-medical caregivers. You can find them in the Crow Wing County Resources Guide, by contacting Crow Wing County Social Services, or by asking your health care professionals.

When you do contact an agency, you will want to weigh a lot of important factors. It is not only a matter of whether the care is affordable, but whether the agency is sound. You want to look at much more than just price. You want to know if they are sending an employee of the agency or an independent contractor. You want to know if the care giver has been screened and insured. Ask them to show you how they train and supervise their people. How committed are they to finding the right personality for your mother, just to name a few.

So far, I have been talking about non-medical home care. But there may come a time when your parents need professional in-home medical care. This may happen after a disabling stroke or heart attack or broken hip or other medical conditions.

In the past, most patients in such cases would have gone into a nursing home for post hospital treatment and rehabilitation. But now all kinds of life-saving and life-enhancing medical devices are suitable for in-home use, from respirators and x-ray equipment to walkers and wheelchairs. Some of this equipment may be covered by health insurance or government programs. But in any case, you'll need a qualified medical professional to come to your parent's home for a period of time.

Home Health Care Agencies can provide services from Registered Nurses, physical, occupational and speech therapists, social workers and home health aides. The advantages are obvious, when a loved ones has medical needs they can be well taken care of in the surroundings of their own home. Your parent remains in his community, surrounded by family and friends who are able to visit him in that environment. He can stay home during his final months or years.

You need to ask the same questions of a medical agency that we talked about above. Make sure you are aware what exact services they are able to provide. Who will provide these services? Will they be covered by insurance? Again, please use contacts above or your health care professionals for a list of medical home care agencies in our area.

Home, the place we all want to be whether we're 21 or 50-something or seniors. But wait, not every senior wants to age at home and not every home is the best place to age. There's much more to this continuum of care, including retirement and independent living communities, assisted living communities, skilled nursing facilities and hospice.

We'll talk more next month about additional options. See why it's so important to give your parents that gift of starting to plan. Get on it! Check out the websites noted above, or call us at 824.0077 for more resources, including how to get your copy of "Stages of Senior Care." Then take a break, put your feet up and enjoy being at home!

DEB CRANNY is the executive director at Home Instead Senior Care in Brainerd.