Resolve to watch good teams

According to Wikipedia, the online Encyclopedia, the origin of the New Year's resolution dates back to 153 B.C. from the mythical king of early Rome, Janus.

I believe it is there that Minnesota Vikings head coach Brad Childress found his offense.

The Purple and Gold ranked 23rd in total offense out of 32 teams. Detroit was ranked 22nd. Minnesota ranked 26th in total points scored. Detroit was 21st. The Lions at least get the No. 2 pick in the upcoming NFL draft. Brady Quinn or Troy Smith? Those poor Lions.

Let's not bash Brad's bad offense, but praise a Vikings defense that helped Minnesota to at least six wins.

For years we in the North Star State have been crying for a defense. Now we have one, but we mortgaged the offense to get it.

The moral of the story is this: The next time Vikings' fans wish for something, be greedy. Instead of asking for just a good defense try asking for a good team.

Another Minnesota football team made like Rome and fell.

Because of the largest collapse in a Division I-A bowl game, University of Minnesota Gophers head coach Glen Mason was fired.

He leaves with a 64-57 record in 10 years at the position. Of those 64 wins only 33 were against Big Ten opponents and only eight were against Ohio State (1), Michigan (1), Wisconsin (2) and Iowa (4). Mason was 8-28 against those four teams.

Mason did lead the Gophers to seven bowl games, but was 3-4 in them and none of them started with an R. Along with Friday's Insight.com Bowl loss, the Gophers made appearances in three Music City Bowls, two Sun Bowls and the Micronpc.com Bowl. I had to check to see if Micronpc company was still around. I looked outside to make sure the sun was, too.

Simply put, the Gophers were an average program that skated by with a poor non-conference schedule and had its true colors exposed in the Insight.com Bowl.

Moral of this story: When it comes to a college football program that was awful for so long, average is a great thing. Average is so good it gets you a contract extension that yields a fired coach a $2.2 million buyout and another $1.3 million in deferred compensation. I hope the Masons can manage.

The exploits of Minnesota's top two football teams have many excited about winter sports.

Um, yeah.

Gopher men's basketball coach Dan Monson has already been fired. The women's basketball program saw many of its returning players leave. The Timberwolves couldn't make a deal for Allen Iverson and are below .500. The Wild, while leading the Northwest Division, can't win on the road.

The moral of this is: The Minnesota Twins open the season at home April 2 against Baltimore.

That leads me to my New Year's resolutions: First, I won't waste time writing about Minnesota professional or major college sports next season.

Second, I will appreciate watching the Pine River-Backus Tigers football team beat Blackduck 50-0 or the Verndale Pirates destroy Clinton-Graceville-Beardsley 40-0.

Third, I will thank all the area high school coaches for doing what they do without the possibility of a $2.2 million buyout.

Finally, I will admire the lakes area's student athletes who aren't getting arrested for driving under the influence, beating girlfriends, shooting off handguns on busy streets, abusing steroids and fathering multiple children with multiple partners.

The moral of this column: Don't waste your time driving to the Twin Cities for lackluster sports teams. The real excitement, like Rome in its prime, is right here at home.

JEREMY MILLSOP, sports writer, can be reached at jeremy.millsop@brainerddispatch.com or 855-5856.