It will be a straight-up, traditional Lutheran wedding service, in a big ELCA church with 300 guests and three ministers. We’ll sing, we’ll say vows, we’ll exchange rings, we’ll pray, we’ll thank and praise God for all our blessings.
On the advice of a friend, my fiancé and I will walk very slowly, just inching down the aisle to absorb all the love and blessings and smiles and warmth of the people gathered. (I’m pretty sure I’ll cry, though I’m going to try not to.)
It’s the wedding I always thought I’d have as a kid growing up in small-town North Dakota and later as a student Concordia in Moorhead, Minn. A very Lutheran wedding.
My college roommate will play the piano; my childhood minister will say the prayers; the wedding quilt my mom has been sewing all summer will be there on display; my friends from camp will sing “Ode to Joy” in German from the balcony.
And our Lutheran pastor will preside. Gerry and I will be joined in marriage with the same vows as joined my parents, and my grandparents, and my great grandparents.
Our pastor will declare: “Kevin and Gerry, by their promises before God and in the presence of this assembly, have joined themselves to one another in marriage. Those whom God has joined together let no one separate.” And we will all say “amen.”
This is our religion. Today, Gerry and I and our pastor, our family ministers and all those gathered are practicing our religion. We are expressing our religious freedom. Exercising our liberty.
I understand that there are many who disagree with our belief that today, Gerry and I, in the eyes of God and our church, are getting married. The young woman at the State Fair, for example, who, seeing our clasped hands, spat her taunt -- “It’s Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve” -- certainly disagrees.
As does Archbishop John Nienstedt, whose Catholicism leaves no room for two men to live in a committed, loving family relationship. Many from my own faith aren’t completely comfortable with the words our mainstream Lutheran pastor will utter today.
And there are many more, religious and nonreligious, who simply don’t care.
We don’t seek to change your mind. We don’t want to convert you. We’re not looking for love and blessings and smiles and warmth on our wedding day from those of you who don’t agree with our religious beliefs. We don’t ask for your support.
Instead, we’re asking for respect and dignity. We want the same rights as others receive to live out our beliefs. We want to exercise our religious liberty and have our beliefs respected by civil, secular government rules.
Minnesota’s culture, for better or worse, is deeply rooted in Lutheranism. Those of us who have sat through many Lutheran sermons know well some of the main ideas, including that grace is infinitely more powerful than what we say, do or believe.
Grace is at the foundation of Minnesotans’ compassion and tolerance. Grace lets Minnesotans live and let live.
In November, all Minnesotans get the chance to decide whether the state will respect Gerry, me, our pastor and our gathered guests who today are exercising our religious freedom and liberty.
Today we declare: “Those whom God has joined together let no one separate.”
In November, let the people say “amen.”
Kevin Reuther lives in Minneapolis. This is a letter that was printed in the StarTribune. It was forwarded to the Dispatch by his mother, Sandra Reuther of Breezy Point.
Comments (32)
Add commentCongratulations, Kevin and Gerry,
May you live a long and happy life together!
Don't forget the rice
This will not be a problem in the ELCA.
Go for it.
Thanks for a lovely, well-written piece, Kevin!
I hope you and Gerry have a wonderful married life ahead of you!! More importantly, as a Christian, I hope that other Christians in this state recognize that God loves us all, and respects all of our sacred marital commitments. Vote "no" (on both "big gov't"-intrusive amendments) this November.
Thank you
Thank you for your story. My daughter is planning to marry her partner in 2014 and we are hoping to have the wedding here in Minnesota. Blessings to you both from another ELCA Lutheran.
So sweet a story...
... that I'm ready to power hurl !! You dears have a wonderful life, just don't insult the rest of us by calling it a marriage !!
Point of view
Kevin, I am encouraged, not insulted, by your story. I am discouraged that some bigotry is still out there. Rolf
God bless Archbishop John
God bless Archbishop John Niensted.
and the moral of the story is
and the moral of the story is ... get the government out of marriage. It does not belong there in any capacity. The smaller the government the smaller the chance of someone who doesn't know you telling you what to do.
No Class Comment
Lendad you just showed you have no class. We all know your crowd has those views, but on this happy occasion a classy person would have kept those views to themselves.
Kevin and Gerry, Congratulations on this happy occasion. Some of us view this as a time to wish you both a long and happy MARRIAGE.
So you're saying we can reject a legal marriage, Scary?
If we all get to retain the right to decide for ourselves whether we accept a "legal homosexual marriage", I guess I don't care what homosexuals do. But I know better, because I've been paying attention to how this played out in Canada. Once homosexual marriage becomes legal, if you are a business owner, or even a church organization that opposes it, you can't discriminate on the grounds that your belief system does not accept it. This is a move to force people to accept gay marriage as a variation on natural marriage, and I, and my 2000 year old church, do not, and cannot, so stop trying to force us to comply with your belief system.
2000 years....
Vampires abound!
Forced Belief System?
Meuhlbau dares to accuse those asking for tolerance/compassion while not forcing others to accept that tolerance/compasion as forcing their beliefs on others while she advocates enshrining her beliefs in the Constitution !!!!
I wish there was a button labeled HYPOCRITE to press.
Make no mistake, I have great
Make no mistake, I have great sympathy for those who have a different persuasion, but I also have sympathy for mothers and fathers who kill their children, those who live under tyrants etc.
So Mr. Engen puts gay people on the same level as pedophilles, murders, and poor oppressed folks who are too mired down to overthrow tyranny. Interesting. It's not about protecting marriage....it's about hating gay people.
Hopefully the vote will go in the
direction of this comment section: a majority voting NO.
Congratulations! Many happy
Congratulations! Many happy years are wished for you both!
While I will still be voting no, this letter goes right to the
problem that many people, especially Christians are having, and that is a threat to their religious beliefs. How often, when discussing Gay Marriage, do people bring up the Bible and God, only to have others say this isn't a religious issue? For those sitting on the fence, this letter may actually push them on the side of voting yes.
too mushy
I have re-read this letter a few times and find it to be too mushy and tedious for anyone gay or straight.
I do wonder what the reason for it is - are they going to be the test couple in the courts? They and the other commenter seem to be counting on a future wedding in the ELCA.
If the amendment fails, I think it will be still illegal, but there is the opening for the court challenge If it passes there will still be a court challenge, no doubt, as it has been.
AIso, don't think this couple should volunteer as most of the other couples that were the court cases aren't together anymore.
OK wise minds, so it happens and they can legally marry.
What if the caterer. flower provider, church, organiist find that due to their faith they can't provide for this wedding.
See that will be one of the next things. There will be a lawsuit and the business could go out of business.
In France, right now, using the words father and mother are
no longer acceptable -- iit has to be "parents"
Just as some people have questions about "what could happen" in the voter ID amendment ( NOT COMPARING)
just an example -- of what could follow when you get what you ask for. The Republican should be thanked for putting this on the ballot so, now the wedding plans can begin.
Another thing, there seems to
Another thing, there seems to be some "helicopter parenting"
going on here.
We can't all have what we want, or I guess some people can.
To all of the people stating
To all of the people stating that it is against their religion to promote gay marriage; do you also say that it is against your religion to: have sex out of marriage? to take the Lord's name in vain? to drink too much? to cheat? do you go to church on Sundays or do you sit on your couch and watch football?
These are just a few of the hypocrisies I see coming from people who spout religious reasons for being against gay marriage. I'm a religious person, but I believe that the people talking religion and gay marriage are just more ignorant about it, and they don't follow every single rule that their bible tells them to. If you believe it's a sin because that is what your religion states; that's fine. But since when has the government outlawed everything that is considered a sin? I guess everything I outlined above should also be outlawed? If you consider it a sin, and you are a religious person, then you should also know that it is not your job to judge, and that God forgives all sins. To think that a homosexual person wouldn't be allowed in Heaven just because of who they love is ludicrous. For us to vote to take away equality from a small group of people based on that thought is also ludicrous.
To jammers and those who agree with same sex marriage . . . .
Watch this video - to jammers who argues that those of us who are against gay marriage are NOT against having sex out of marriage etc. To me a SIN is a SIN and yes I HAVE sinned (not in a sexual way - but it makes no difference.) ALL sexual relations outside of a marriage between a man and a women is a sin. If you cannot finish watching the video than don't bother posting any rude replies or comments. I don't bash my gay neighbors any more than I would a high school teenager having sex outside of marriage. They are both sins and can be forgiven and restored to a new life. I've had friends turn away from homosexual relations after accepting Jesus into their life. It can be done and it's God's will that people do change from their sinful lives - ALL people. No one is ranked higher because of their sins.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=cSGIPqXhofE
Is that you, Marcus Bachmann?
Praying the gay away?
The point, msw2007, is that it doesn't matter . . . .
The point, msw2007, is that it doesn't matter what YOU think about sin. "Sins" are only relevant to a believer, and we are supposed to have a SECULAR government. So I don't really care what any religion says about this sin or that sin. It makes NO difference because we do not base our laws on SIN!!
Did I miss something?
I may have missed something, but the only one talking about religion is the original letter writer, you know, the one who plans to get married in his church.
I am against gay marriage and it has nothing to do with my religion.
Voting "yes"
...that is all
Pro Gay Marriage Commercials
Has anyone noticed that all the "vote no" commericials on TV feature only straight people telling you to vote no and against the proposed amendment. Why is that? Are they afraid to have a commercial featuring some gay people telling their stories. I have witnessed a couple gay pride parades and I bet that if the voters saw some of these performances that they would definitely vote yes to pass the amendment. By the way, everytime this issue has been voted on by the electorate (32 times) it has remained illegal to marry a person of the same sex.
Blessings, I hope you have many children!
Plastic Jesus
Typical.
Plastic Marriage
Typical.
Probably why
so many 'traditional' marriages don't last.
Traditional??
There's NOTHING traditional about two people of the same sex getting married in a Lutheran church! Say what you want about the subject but it is ABSOLUTELY IMMORAL! I belong to an ELCA Lutheran church and I still can't believe that they allow this!