The other day I was so frustrated with my toddler - she had torn apart our living room and was starting to throw Candyland cards around the room despite my repeated warnings - that I said something that even surprised myself:
"Maddy, do you want a spanking??"
That was all it took. She stopped immediately, quickly jumped to her feet, dropping the rest of the cards, and said, "Yes!"
Whatever a spanking was — she has not been and won't ever be spanked — she was so excited to get one. It made me laugh and we picked up the cards together.
I'm a storyteller so it goes without saying that I really can't keep a secret. And this was a pretty fabulous secret, as far as secrets go.
But I'm not much of an actress.
This is why I surprised even myself on Christmas.
But let me go back a few weeks. My husband and I are having a baby and I made an appointment for our ultrasound for Dec. 21st but we told our families that I couldn't get in for an ultrasound until after Christmas, on Dec. 29. Sneaky, right?
In her two short years on this planet, my toddler's relationship with Santa has been tumultuous at best.
Her first Christmas she threw up on him.
Her second Christmas...well, I've uploaded the photographic evidence from last year. She was horrified when she turned around and realized I put her in the lap of some white-bearded stranger. Traumatic.