This game was painful. Not only because of the blowout loss and the 3rd loss in a row for the Twins, but also because the game lasted nearly 4 hours despite going only 9 innings. David Ortiz had two home runs and Daniel Nava added one of his own in propelling the Red Sox over the Twins 12-5 on Saturday night.
Ortiz's damage started right away in the first inning off Twins starter Scott Diamond. With two runners on and one away, Big Papi came to the plate and drove a Diamond pitch over the large scoreboard in right field for a quick 3-0 lead. Then with the lead 3-1 in the 3rd, Ortiz came to the plate again with 2 on and 1 away and singled to right field, making the score Ortiz 4, Twins 1.
The Twins did have a threat going in the bottom of the 3rd. Josh Willingham hit a one out double, and then with two outs Oswaldo Arcia and Trevor Plouffe drew consecutive walks off Red Sox starter Ryan Dempster. This brought Aaron Hicks to the plate with the bases loaded, who green-lighted himself on the first pitch of the at-bat and drove a dead-red fastball deep to the right-center field alley, but his drive was caught just short of the warning track by right fielder Daniel Nava.
Minnesota did cut the score to 4-2 in the 4th with an RBI single from Justin Morneau, but the Red Sox widened their lead in the 5th. Jonny Gomes and Dustin Pedroia hit consecutive doubles to make it 5-2, and Diamond's day was finished after retiring Ortiz for the first out. In came Anthony Swarzak, and he was unable to quite the Red Sox bats as he allowed a walk, sacrifice fly, and a pair of singles to give the Sox two more runs. In fact, the Twins only escaped the inning as on that last single, Will Middlebrooks was thrown out trying to advance to 3rd base.
That five run lead did not last for long, however. The Twins offense had been patient with Dempster, driving his pitch count up to 101 pitches through only 4 innings, and he really only came out to pitch the 5th so that he could qualify for the win. It seemed like manager John Farrell tried to stick with Dempster for as long as he could, but the plan didn't work. Ryan Doumit led off with a double, and then the Twins manufactured a run by using a pair of ground outs by Plouffe and Arcia to bring Doumit home. It looked like Dempster might succeed in battling through 5 innings, but he issued his 6th walk of the game to Hicks, and then alternated stolen bases by Hicks and Pedro Florimon with singles by Florimon and Jamey Carroll to cut the lead to 2 and end his night. In came Clayton Mortensen, and although he gave up a single to Joe Mauer, he got Morneau to fly out to center field to end the threat with the lead intact.
It turned out that this was all the Red Sox needed, but they still added some insurance runs later in the game. David Ortiz added his second home run of the game in the 7th inning off Swarzak, and then later in the inning reliever Casey Fien gave up a home run to Daniel Nava that just made it into the flower beds over the right field scoreboard.
WP: Craig Breslow (1-0)
LP: Scott Diamond (3-4)
Studs
Jamey Carroll (2 for 4, BB, RBI), Joe Mauer (2 for 5, 2B, R), Justin Morneau (2 for 5, RBI), Ryan Doumit (2 for 4, BB, R), Pedro Florimon (2 for 4, R, 2 RBI)
Duds
Scott Diamond (4 1/3 IP, 8 H, 6 R, 3 BB, 1 K), Anthony Swarzak (1 2/3 IP, 3 H, 4 R, 3 BB)
Player of the Game
David Ortiz for going 3 for 4 with 2 home runs and 6 RBI.
Roll Call
Win Expectancy
Source: FanGraphs
Is it just me, or have I gone three consecutive weeks with the Twins losing Friday's game, thus causing me to fill this space with some comment about us ranting about the Twins or how the team is looking for redemption tonight?
Text
Ryan Dempster (2-4, 3.75)
Dempster is in his 16th major league season and he hasn't shown any signs of slowing down. In fact, his strikeout rate is currently the best it's ever been in his career (11.44 K/9). While he's been doing a great job of missing bats and limiting hits (.203 batting average allowed), he's struggled with the long ball as he's already allowed 9 home runs in 48 innings this year, though a good chunk of those came in his last start against Toronto when he gave up 3 homers and 6 runs in 5 innings. Dempster actually faced the Twins back on May 7th, and he took the loss in allowing 4 runs in 7 innings.
There are three main pitches in Dempster's repertoire, and that is a fastball, slider, and splitter. The slider and splitter are his most effective pitches, and he trusts his slider so much that he throws it almost as often as his fastball. Also, Dempster does an odd glove shake while he pitches, which is apparently done so hitters don't see him adjust his pitch grip prior to delivering the ball.
Scott Diamond (3-3, 4.08)
Scott Diamond is selfish. Why? Well, he has received a decision in every one of his 6 starts this year. However, he hasn't been striking anyone out (3.82 K/9) so in Crash Davis' eyes, he's not really that selfish. Still, Diamond has countered the excessive contact (.296 batting average allowed) by using his excellent control (1.53 BB/9) to keep his WHIP down to a respectable 1.30. Diamond actually opposed Dempster on May 7th in Boston, and he got the win by keeping the Red Sox scoreless through 7 innings.
Diamond also throws only three pitches, and he generates a ton of ground balls despite not actually throwing a sinking fastball. Instead, he relies on creating a good downward plane (curse you Bert Blyleven!) and aiming his 4-seam fastball at the bottom half of the zone. It also helps that he can sometimes get some cutting action on his 4-seamer. He will mix in a curveball and change-up as well, and his curveball is slightly above average while the change-up is solidly below-average, according to FanGraphs' pitch values.
I have a confession to make. I, Andrew Bryz-Gornia, do not give my full undivided attention at work. That's right, I slack off. You see, I made a rather important discovery while teaching. FanGraphs has a daily Cover It Live chat at 11 am Monday through Friday, and 11 am just so happens to be when my prep period starts. Thus, while I lesson plan for my final two classes of the day, I am also reading an online chat about baseball with the authors of FanGraphs.
You may know where this is going. I chatted with Jesse and we think it would be a great idea to hold a Twinkie Town Cover It Live chat from 5 to 6 pm on Monday night prior to the Twins game against the Braves, hosted by the two of us. If you've never participated in one of these before, essentially you the reader will submit comments/questions to us, and we will pick out the ones we find interesting or provocative and will comment back for all to see.
Will you be busy from 5-6 on Monday? No problem, as you can always ask a question or make a comment down below, and we may choose to post it during the chat if we've hit a lull or are flooded with "Are you even a Twins fan!?!?" comments. Plus, an archive of the chat is saved even after it's completed so you can always visit the chat after it's been completed to see everything that was discussed.
Jesse and I are both excited about the Cover It Live chat and we hope you will be as well. Remember, post comments and questions below if you want to ask or say something but won't be present on Monday, and you can also send them to us on Twitter using the hashtag #TTchat.
Both the Twins and Red Sox had their opponent's starting pitchers on the ropes all night, but neither were able to break the game open. Once it went to the bullpens, Minnesota's blinked first, losing the lead in the 7th and the game in the 10th as Boston sent Minnesota to their third loss in a row, 3-2.
Vance Worley was seemingly in trouble every inning, but the only damage done in six innings and 98 pitches was a 2-out RBI single by David Ortiz in the top of the first. Worley's cause was helped tremendously by three double plays, and he exited after six inning with a chance at the win. Brian Deunsing's inability to get righties out put an end to that as he gave up the tying run in the seventh.
Meanwhile, Clay Buchholz and his weird, gel-caked vibe dominated the Twins in the first two innings, striking out 5 in a row. In the top of the third, though, he surrendered a solid double to Trevor Plouffe, then allowed Pedro Florimon to hook one right down the right field line and over the fence for Florimon's second dinger of the year and give the Twins a 2-1 lead.
While Worley skated in and out of jams, the Twins failed to put Buchholz away despite quality rallies in the 5th and 6th innings. This included a bases loaded, one-out situation in the 5th that saw Josh Willingham strike out and Justin Morneau pop up to end the threat.
And that was the extent of the action until the 10th, when the Red Sox loaded the bases on losing pitcher Josh Roenicke. A Jonny Gomes sac fly gave Boston the lead, and that was that.
ROBOT ROLL CALL:1. d-mac
2. amiller92
3. kenzertz
4. twinsbrewer
5. less cowbell, more 'neau
6. twinsgirl197
7. ColossusOfRhode
8. DavidRF
9. SooFoo Fan
10. myjahweirdtwitter
Highlights:
Source: FanGraphs
Your one-stop shop for this evening's tilt.
Your Minnesota Twins are like beer. Specifically, these kinds:
Mock drafts for baseball have gained traction over the last few years. There was a time when the only mock draft only mattered in the NFL. But no longer, my friends! In the great sport of baseball, we like to debate about potential free agent signings, potential trades...it only makes sense that the draft gets its own share of speculation. Here's a cross section of various draft pundits and who they have the Twins taking fourth overall in June's draft.
Keith Law, ESPN: Kohl Stewart, RHP (Prep)All the draft news out of Minnesota recently has been about the team's focus on pitching, and naturally Law has recognized that fact. He fits the profile of a high-upside hurler, which is something the Twins desperately need - but Stewart is a long-term project. He says Stewart is likely to be the best talent available at number four, predicting Minnesota will draft him over high school catching prospect Reese McGuire.
Scouting reports have his fastball sitting in the mid 90s, with a potential power slider in the mid 80s and a changeup that needs a lot of work. What intrigues me the most about Stewart is that he was also heavily recruited as a college quarterback, having actually committed to Texas A&M. I'm not sure if that's a stance from which he's backed out, or if it's just a risk the Twins are willing to take.
One scouting report I read called him a "thrower" rather than a "pitcher", which isn't too concerning considering he's in high school, but another said he looked like "a quarterback pitching more than a pitcher". To be fair, that assessment was also made last autumn.
For a full and fantastic scouting report, check out Baseball Prospect Nation.
For more on the Twins taking Stewart, head over to Minor League Ball, where John Sickels breaks down his first round.
MyMLBDraft.com: Austin Meadows, OF (Prep)Say what you want about the Twins needing to take a pitcher, but Meadows has a variety of gushing from scouts. Here's a sample.
There are two kinds of statistics in Major League Baseball: the rolling averages and the cumulative, or counting, stats. On the one hand, rolling averages are great. They set a benchmark for a player's success with a team not just in terms of quantity, but in terms of quality. As of today, for example, Joe Mauer is the fifth-most valuable Minnesota Twin of all time based on Wins Above Replacement (41.0). He's also second in batting average (.324) and first in on-base percentage (.406). Justin Morneau is second in slugging (.489).
The down side to rolling averages is that they really only tell their full story when the player's career is over. A player can rise or fall dramatically based off of a couple good or bad seasons. Counting stats, meanwhile, can be leveraged against longetivity. Longetivity isn't always a good thing, but the great thing about these numbers is that they tell an undeniable truth about that player's accomplishments within the context of the franchise's history.
With those things in mind, here are a few franchise milestones that players are approaching for our Twins in the near future.
Mike Pelfrey took a step back in his season progress today, as he lasted just four innings in Minnesota's loss to the White Sox. Chicago actually took the series today, and did some damage to Pelfrey while they were at it. In his four innings, Pelfrey gave up 5 earned runs on 8 hits to Chicago batters, including 2 home runs -- one to Adam Dunn in the third, and another to Dayan Viciedo in the fourth. He did strike out more batters than he walked (3 and 2, respectively), but I'm not sure that's much consolation at this point in his season. His ERA has now climbed to 6.57, with 57 hits given up in just 38.1 innings pitched. Ouch.
To his credit, Anthony Swarzak came in and cleaned up as best he could, throwing a solid two innings of scoreless ball. He gave up just one hit, walked one, and struck out another. Brian Duensing and Josh Roenicke did not have such luck in their appearances today, as they both gave up two earned runs to Chicago batters (Dunn hit his second bomb of the day off Roenicke in the eighth inning). For whatever reason, Glen Perkins came in to close out the game, and only gave up one hit and striking out another batter.
While this game was a bit of a stinker for the Twins, the offense wasn't completely silent this afternoon. Josh Willingham knocked in a couple of RBI today, and Eduardo Escobar homered off of Dylan Axelrod in the second inning. The other Twins run came from a Jamey Carroll double in the second inning (Joe Mauer also doubled in this game, but he sucks at baseball and--oh wait! Joe Mauer is now leading all active players in career batting average, with a .324 BA, passing up Pujols. ALSO, Mauer is on a 14-game hitting streak. HE SUCKS). It's not like Axelrod was shutting the Twins down or anything, either. He gave up 9 hits and a walk in his 5.1 innings pitched. The Twins just weren't able to capitalize on most of their opportunities. Anyway, the Twins offense wasn't completely silent on a Wednesday game, and this is great news.
Studs & Duds
Studs
-Joe Mauer. He's just so good at baseball (did I do that wrong?).
-Anthony Swarzak. Nice clean-up job, Squatch.
-Eduardo Escobar. Home runs are fun!
Duds
-Mike Pelfrey. Quit it.
-Brian Duensing. Also quit it.
-Josh Roenicke. Ditto.
Roll Call
Slightly disappointed with the lack of comments today, but I guess that's what afternoon baseball will do to you.
# Commenter # Comments 1 DavidRF 8 2 smookaj 6 3 TwinATL 5 4 ColossusOfRhode 5 5 kenzertz 4 6 MNWildcat 3 7 The Ham Sandwich 3 8 Sportsavenue 1 9 Luke in MN 1 10 aariediger 1
FanGraphs
I made sure to grab the right date this time. Your sad fangraph of the day:
Source: FanGraphs
Coming Up
The Twins have an off day tomorrow, and will open up the weekend series on Friday against the Boston Red Sox at home at Target Field. The game starts at 7:10 pm CST, and hopefully the predicted rainfall doesn't prevent the hometown nine from playing any games this weekend.
First Pitch: 12:10 pm CST
TV: FSN
Radio: 96.3 K-TWIN, TIBN
Know Thine Enemy: South Side Sox
Is Winter Gone?: Yes, I think so!
In today's Central Division afternoon matchup between the Twins and White Sox, Minnesota will be looking to Mike Pelfrey to start a new winning streak. Pelfrey's last start began on a good note, but ended with him leaving in the 6th inning after giving up 3 runs in the same inning on 9 hits (and a walk). Yikes. So today, the Twins are going to hope Pelfrey will not do that again and throw another quality start, while also hoping Dylan Axelrod is off his game...again.
Your throwers...
Minnesota
Height: 6-7
Weight: 230
Bats: R
Throws: R
Born: Jan 14, 1984
W-L G GS CG SHO SV BS IP H R ER HR BB K ERA WHIP 2013 - Mike Pelfrey 3-3 7 7 0 0 0 0 34.1 49 25 23 2 9 15 6.03 1.69Chicago
Height: 6-0
Weight: 185
Bats: R
Throws: R
Born: Jul 30, 1985
W-L G GS CG SHO SV BS IP H R ER HR BB K ERA WHIP 2013 - Dylan Axelrod 0-3 7 7 0 0 0 0 41.0 39 21 19 5 12 22 4.17 1.24
Your hitters...
Minnesota
Posted when available (or in the comments if I'm slow...)
Chicago
Ditto
Go Twins!
This week, we'll be covering the brightest the Twins have to offer in their Twinkie Town top 25 minor league systems. We'll be doing much of the same as last week, focusing on the better performances that the farm system had to offer over the past 7 days.
Starting with top prospect number...
1) Miguel Sano - Sano's bat cooled off a bit, as he hit just .233 over the past week. He's still hitting .376 on the season, with 10 HRs so far. His season OPS dropped to 1.167 after the past week's performance.
2) Oswaldo Arcia - Arcia's having a pretty great week in the Bigs. He's hitting .304, he's knocked in a couple runs with a well-timed dinger, and his K rate has gone down (from 8+ last week to just 5 this week). He's definitely making himself a nice case to stay with the club, and he's now raised his OPS to .840 on the season.
3) Byron Buxton - Buxton's bat has also cooled down a bit this week, but I'm going to talk about the game on May 12, where Buxton went 4-for-7 with a double, triple, and 4 RBI. Not a bad game at all for the young player. His season OPS is now at 1.049.
5) Aaron Hicks - We've all been dealing with our frustrations regarding the much-touted center fielder, but I'd like to just cover the game Hicks had against the Chicago White Sox on Monday. Hicks went 2-for-3 with a walk, 2 HR (yes, that's right, I said TWO home runs), and 2 RBI. He also made a catch over the wall to rob the Sox of a home run that was quite the web gem (check it out here). Sadly, the great performance only raised his season batting average to .152, with a season OPS of .542.
7) Kyle Gibson - Last Wednesday, Gibson pitched one hell of a good game against Toledo, as he went 9 innings, giving up just 4 hits and no earned runs. He walked 2, but struck out 8 batters. Needless to say-excellent performance. He unfortunately followed that up with his start on Tuesday evening against Durham, where he went only 3 innings and gave up 4 earned runs on 7 hits. He struck out 3 and walked 1 in that performance. I can only imagine how frustrating that kind of performance can be for a young player coming off an injury.
10) Trevor May - May had himself a very nice game on May 10 against Portland, which is nice to see from the young righty. He went 7 solid innings, giving up just 2 hits and 1 walk--and no earned runs. The best part? May struck out 10 batters in those 7 innings. His season ERA has gone down to 3.20 in 39.1 innings pitched.
11) Joe Benson - I'd really like to write about Benson in one of these "Great Players!" pieces. Unfortunately, this week, I can't. Again. C'mon, Joe.
14) Travis Harrison - On May 10, Harrison had a great game for the Cedar Rapids Kernels, as he went 2-for-3 with a double, 2 RBI, and a run scored (in the second game of a double-header -- he went 0-fer in the first). His season has been touch-and-go so far, with his OPS now sitting at .831. The third base prospect's season batting average is now .270.
15) Danny Santana - The Twins' SS prospect had a fantastic week this past week. He hit .500 in 5 games, with just 3 RBI, but also 4 stolen bases (in 5 games!). Santana's batting average for the season rose to .278, with 6 stolen bases now on the year and 15 RBI. His OPS has climbed to .648 (not very impressive, but if he continues to hit like he did this past week, we can expect to see that go up as well).
16) Mason Melotakis - Melotakis' season hadn't started out very well, racking up a higher ERA (3.77 in 5 starts), but his performance on May 10 hopefully will have started turning things around. Melotakis went just 5.1 innings, but he only gave up 3 hits and 3 walks, with no runs given up. He also struck out 9 batters in those 5.1 innings, so we can say it was a pretty good performance from the Southpaw. His season ERA dropped to 3.10 with a 3-1 record in 29 innings pitched.
18) Hudson Boyd - Boyd's one start this week went pretty well. He was very solid, with nothing too flashy, but sometimes, flashy is just overrated and solid is all you're looking for (right, Kevin Correia?). Boyd went 6 innings on May 10 (notice a pattern here? A LOT of these 'good performances happened on this date...hmm), giving up 2 hits, walking 1, and gave up 0 earned runs. He also struck out 4 and lowered his season ERA to 4.34. He's now 1-1 in 29 innings pitched.
20) Niko Goodrum - Another SS prospect, Niko Goodrum had a promising week, hitting .333 over a 7-game period. He had 3 doubles and a triple in that time, as well as 5 RBI. Goodrum also struck out 7 times over that period, but hopefully he can have a better eye at the plate (while still hitting well, of course). His season OPS is now .840, with a .289 batting average.
23) DJ Baxendale - I'm so excited I get to add Baxendale again, as he threw another great game on May 11. Baxendale went 7 innings, giving up just 3 hits and a run, walking only one, but striking out 6. His season ERA is at a still-attractive 1.25, with a 5-0 record in 43.1 innings pitched. I continue to keep an eye on his performances, because he's been really, really promising this season so far. I suggest you do the same.
25) Adam Walker - I haven't covered much of Walker's progress this season (mainly because there haven't been a lot of notable events that have happened), but I'm going to acknowledge the young RF prospect's great game on May 12 against Beloit. Walker went 4-for-6 in that game with two doubles and two home runs -- and SEVEN RBI. Walker's season ERA has risen to a pleasant .311 with 9 HR and 40 RBI.
News and Notes
--I'm not going to give any opinion on this piece, by Yahoo! contributor Chris Schad, but it is an interesting read, no matter your position on Terry Ryan and the minor league system as it currently stands.
--A good read from MLB flunky/weird-name-haver Rhett Bollinger about the great April Byron Buxton and DJ Baxendale had. Remember you read how great they were here first, probably.
--Finally, some minor league news and notes from Twins Daily's Jeremy Nygard, regarding some moves made by the minor league teams and notes about players and performances over the past few days.
Make sure to stop by later today for the early-afternoon-baseball game thread!
Kevin Correia didn't really do that bad today. He threw fewer than 100 pitches through 7 innings while surrendering only two runs on back-to-back solo shots by Adam Dunn and Danyan Viciedo in the 2nd inning. Unfortunately, Correia came back out for the 8th and proceeded to give up back-to-back doubles that resulted in two more earned runs and a Twins loss.
The Twins scored their first run in the 5th inning largely due to a gift from home plate umpire Jordan Baker. Justin Morneau led off the inning with a double and came around to score on a hit from Oswaldo Arcia--but replays showed Chicago catcher Tyler Flowers actually tagged Morneau once, if not twice, before Morneau got his hand on the bag. Score one for the Twins, lack of instant replay complainers.
Trevor Plouffe tied the game in the 7th inning with an RBI single that scored Josh Willingham--but alas, the dinger-less Twins were unable to score any more off Chicago relief pitchers Jesse "Y U NO WRECK ANYMORE?" Crain and Addison "I Legit Just Thought His Name Was Allison" Reed.
ROLL CALL!
Your one stop shop for tonight's Twins game!
Twins
Kevin Correia #30 / Pitcher / Minnesota TwinsHeight: 6-3
Weight: 200
Bats: R
Throws: R
Born: Aug 24, 1980
W-L G GS CG SHO SV BS IP H R ER HR BB K ERA WHIP 2013 - Kevin Correia 4-2 7 7 0 0 0 0 46.2 49 16 16 4 7 20 3.09 1.20Tonight Kevin Correia is facing the White Sox, which happens to be the only MLB team he has never pitched against. So congrats, Kevin, on reaching that pretty much meaningless milestone.
What can we expect from Kevin tonight? As most Twins fans begrudgingly admit, Correia did a fabulous job in April, but he's historically had pretty great Aprils and it starts to go down hill from there. Hopefully history won't repeat itself, but Kevin's first two starts in May have followed the pattern so far. Correia gave up 4 earned runs on 6 hits over 5 innings against the Indians May 4th, and 3 earned runs on 9 hits over 5.1 innings on May 9th.
On the other hand, look at the White Sox lineup.
White Sox
Jake Peavy #44 / Pitcher / Chicago White SoxHeight: 6-1
Weight: 195
Bats: R
Throws: R
Born: May 31, 1981
W-L G GS CG SHO SV BS IP H R ER HR BB K ERA WHIP 2013 - Jake Peavy 4-1 6 6 0 0 0 0 38.2 33 14 13 7 8 45 3.03 1.06Jake Peavy already faced the Twins once this year back on April 20th, and he did a pretty good job, pitching 7 innings with only 6 hits and one earned run. His last start against the Mets went pretty well too, going a slightly fewer 6.2 innings also with only 1 earned run. Peavy also totally owns Josh Willingham, who is only 1 for 18 lifetime against Jake.
On the other hand, this isn't the same Twins team as the one back on April 20th, now that Aaron Hicks is a superstar who is going to hit at least two dingers every game for the rest of the year. Yes--that is a call.
Poll Will Aaron Hicks hit two home runs every game for the rest of the year? 55% Yes 51 votes 13% No 12 votes 32% Maybe 29 votes92 votes | Poll has closed
jQuery(document).ready(function(){ new SBN.Poll('poll_container_178947_491522223').animateResults({renderImmediately:true}); });It didn't start well. Chicago scored two off Pedro Hernandez in the top of the first. But then Pedro settled down. And the Minnesota offense settled in.
The White Sox handed the Twins their first run after they loaded the bases (thanks, Alexei Ramirez!), but two batters later Trevor Plouffe laced a double in the left-center field gap for two runs to put the home team up 4-2. It would only get better.
Aaron Hicks led off the bottom of the fourth inning with a solo home run to center field. His second homer of the year. In the top of the sixth, Hicks scaled the center field wall and robbed Adam Dunn of a home run that would have tied the game at four. And then, in the bottom of the sixth, Hicks went yard again. To center field.
All your center field are belong to Aaron Hicks.
Minnesota put the game away in the eighth when Deunte Heath walked Josh Willingham with the bases loaded, and then Justin Morneau did him a favor and cleared the bases with a ripped double. When the dust cleared the score was 10-3. And that, my friends, is a kick ass mother f*****g win.
ROLL CALL!
Your one-stop shop for all things Twins-Sox!
Day 1: So completely pumped I couldn't sleep last night. Checked the clock every ten minutes the whole night - is it time yet? Is it time? You'd be excited too if you had my job. This team has serious, I mean serious, dinger potential. Morneau's healthy. Willingham's a bomber. Plouffe's gonna hit some. Doumit's gonna hit some. Parmelee's gonna hit some. Heck, even Joe Mauer's going to be leaving the yard when I'm done working with him. This is gonna be just like '87. Man, we hit some dingers that year.
Day 2: So completely pumped. Need to find a different way to reach some of these guys, though. I saw Morneau in the clubhouse chowing down on some chicken, and I was like, forget that stuff. I told him we were gonna bomb some pasta, get a quick lift in, then go out and just rip the cover off the ball. Turns out the guy's got a "gluten sensitivity." I told him I knew a waitress over in Orlando that could rub that right out of him. (I found out later that "gluten" has nothing to do with your butt muscles. Well, excuse me, Mr. Sensitive.)
Day 10: Big crowd for BP here in Fort Myers. I pulled the old corked bat out of the bag and gave it to Mauer, told him to put on a show. He just looked at me all confused, and said, "Why?" I guess times are different. Still pumped though.
Day 22: Found Parmelee on Field 3 stretching, when I thought he was working off the tee, learning to get some backspin on the ball. (The backspin turns fly balls into dingers.) He told me the stretching keeps him loose and ready to run. I said, "Does a thoroughbred stretch before it runs?" That's one of Herbie's. Parmelee didn't get it.
Day 37: TK keeps telling me the game has changed, that the players are different now. He says everybody's in better shape, but I don't see it. I used to smoke unfiltered cigs in the dugout bathroom and I hit 20 bombs eight seasons in a row. Doumit was doing yoga before the game (I think; I'm still not sure what yoga is) and he's hit like eleven homers in his career.
Day 40: Tried calling Herbie for some support today but he was busy. Gaetti doesn't answer my calls, not after that incident with the sour cream. Kirby's in that big ballpark in the sky. I'm pretty sure Don Baylor doesn't own a phone.
Day 46: Forget all that. So pumped again. Season starts today and I can tell everybody's locked in. I remember this from when I played; everybody screwed around in the spring, worked on some stuff, worked on all of that keeping your hands back and stuff like that, but come Opening Day the light goes on and the ball starts flying out of the yard. Here we go.
Day 49: Must just be cold.
Day 53: Must just be snowy.
Day 60: Must just be slow starters.
Day 67: Must be locked in a hellish alternate dinger-less dimension from which there is no escape.
Day 71: Can't think like that, Bruno. Gotta power through... oh, who am I kidding.
Day 82. Status report. Not at all pumped.
I don't get this team. We have 26 homers. Nobody has more than five. If I'd hit only five home runs by mid-May I'm pretty sure Dan Gladden would have showed up at my house with a sack full of doorknobs.
If I can find Danny and get that sack, I might pay Joe Vavra some kind of visit. Most of this team is taking pitches and going to the opposite field and all that crap. I keep telling my guys, look at that fence; it doesn't get any closer than at the foul pole. Aim for that, brother. Not everything has to be some opposite-field shot off a changeup that's down. Maybe just rip a fastball down the line, is what I mean. All that matters is that it goes over the wall.
I had to sit here today and watch the Orioles just go yard all over us. Chris Davis has 11 homers. He's hit more in like three games against us than most of the guys on my team have hit all season.
I'd quit right now, I swear I would. But there's one thing that keeps me coming back. One guy out there who's ready to rip a few baseballs into the seats. That Arcia; he's my guy. I told him the other day, buddy, I'm just here to help you lando el baseball in the el cheapos.
He doesn't really understand me, but he smiles. And he swings hard. I can work with that.
Please Note: You may have disabled JavaScript and/or CSS. Although this news content will be accessible, certain functionality is unavailable.
Brainerd Dispatch ©2013. All Rights Reserved.

